The Net Dog Blog

Every now and then I like to pick up a tabloid and read up on my celebrity dirt. I mean who doesn't like to see Nicolette Sheridan without makeup or Kirstie Alley having one too many Krispy Kremes? And you know I love seeing washed up celebrities trying to lose weight or tasking ballroom dancing lessons on the TV. So last year for Christmas, my friends Paul and Jason thought it would be amusing to get me a subscription to OK!, the self proclaimed "First for Celebrity News." However the tag line should read "First for Jordan News!" Every week she is on the cover and on at least 10 pages, all boobs and teeth. After four issues, I had to ask "Who the hell is Jordan and why the hell should I care?"
The bottom line is Katie Price aka Jordan is a former page 3 girl who managed to parlay her surgically enhanced breasts into a career.

But why does Britain love her so much? She can't act (she couldn't even get on Baywatch for Christ's sake). She's not that bright. "Some mornings I wake up and hardly dare open my eyes in case all the wonderful things that have been happening to me turn out to be just a dream," she once said. "If that happens, the first thing I'll do is to check whether my boobs are still there." Classy.

The current issues seem to be all about her marriage to innocuous singer Peter Andre or how her fat, blind, mixed-race baby with former boyfriend soccer player Dwight Yorke is going to die soon because he weighs five and a half stone (about 77 pounds) at age three.

I know it sounds mean but I DON'T CARE. Please, OK!, enough with Jordan! Give me news about things I care about like bad celebrity plastic surgery, who is or isn't gay in Hollywood, and pictures of Brad and Angelina going grocery shopping with their third world babies.